By now, everyone and their mother knows the legend of St. James St. James (Saint James Street James). But in case you’ve been living under a fucking rock for the past 160 years though, Ross Patterson (FDR: American Badass!, Helen Keller Vs Nightwolves) has given us St. James’ origin story in “At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed,” the first romance novel for dudes. Some know St. James as a frontier family man, some as the “Fifth Beatle” of our founding fathers, and others still as the most hung outlaw in the West. Either way, 160 years ago America just wasn’t ready for a sexually benevolent Robin Hood with a rather progressive attitude towards race (at least for the time) roaming the plains high on laudanum, spreading his seed as far as it would go and serving up his own brand of vigilante cowboy justice. Now, of his myriad of illegitimate children’s children, two brothers (James Armstrong and Christopher Tarantino) still butthurt at their relative for walking out on their great-great-great-great-grandmother so many years ago, grew up to be DJs (of course) and soundtracked the life story of the man they never would have known anyway, under the name of his arch-nemesi The Schläger Brothers because fuck you, guy. If Eros and Al Capone were alive at the same time in the future, met at a bar one night, went home together, made sweet love and somehow got each other pregnant (it’s the fucking future, it’s possible), one of those babies would grow up to be St. James (the other one would become Rip Taylor). And this is what (one chapter of) his life sounded like. Stay tuned for the full mix! Print and e-book available now from Regan Arts, audiobook out June 23. Music 1. Il Tramonto (The Sundown) – Ennio Morricone 2. Human Fly – The Cramps 3. P.I.M.P. – Bacao Rhythm & Steel Band 4. Brother Where Are You? (Matthew Herbert Remix)- Oscar Brown Jr.